Working 9 to 5

As week 1 draws to a close, allow me to share my insights on going back to work.

It just sucks. There's no other way to say it. Leaving my sweet beautiful baby while she's still sleeping and not seeing her little gurgly smiles all day is just awful. I've heard from quite a few working Moms who read my last blog entry and cried along with me.  Knowing I'm not alone doesn't make it any easier.  She is growing and changing every minute and it makes me sick to miss out on any of it. Already she is showing some preference for the bottle which makes Mommy feel like total crap. We had such a good thing going, she and I. And now this bottle is coming between us. The one fail-safe method to make her happy has been upstaged by a BPA-free plastic bottle from Target. Now before you say, but wait Jen, didn't you spend countless blog entries hoping and praying that SB would take to the bottle? Yes, I did, but I didn't think she would like it soooo much. Be careful what you wish for.   Of course she's still eating breastmilk, which means Mommy has to continue the supply even if baby would rather chug from a bottle instead of the tap. Which means pumping. At work. In my car at the moment. There's a mother's room in our office building but I haven't gotten access to it yet so I thought the car was a better alternative to a yucky restroom. It actually works out fine and only takes like 10 minutes total, but I am just waiting for the parking deck security man who tools around in a little golf cart with flashing lights to screech to a halt wondering what suspicious activity is going on in the back seat of my car. Wouldn't he get a surprise! Fortunately, the windows have a dark tint so it's next to impossible to see in the back seat. Sooner or later though I'm sure I'll get busted, so I'd better get card access to the nursing room soon.

In other news, Kurt finally, officially, got on full time with Wachovia, make that Wells Fargo. Yay Kurt!  He's been contracting for 5 years. For about 3 of those years they've been telling him he's going to be brought on permanently, so you can imagine his skepticism when they approached him this last time. But it's for real. Whew. Good thing because his days were numbered at his current gig. He's still going to be working in a cube farm, but we are just happy that he will be gainfully employed with benefits and paid vacation. Unfortunately, his boss and most of the team are out in San Francisco, so he'll have to leave behind his beloved wife and daughter to travel occassionally.  Not looking forward to that - we haven't had a night without Daddy yet!  Good thing we have Moose around to protect us.  (Speaking of Moose, you may be wondering how he's doing.  We haven't scheduled the surgery but we're planning on doing it the week before Thanksgiving.  That way we'll be on vacation and can tend to our poor dog while he recuperates.  Needless to say, Turkey Day is going to be slow and simple at our house this year.)


Anyway, I'm coming to the realization that my day now starts when I get home and hold baby in my arms. That's when the sun comes up for me. Everything that happens between 9-5 is just stuff I have to do. When work is done and our little family is home all together - that is what it's all about. What did we do with ourselves before she came along?  I can't remember.  One of my favorite songs to sing to baby is the Bill Withers classic "Lovely Day."  I found myself singing it in my head all week.  I think it kept me going.  Sing along - she likes this one.

When I wake up in the morning, love

And the sunlight hurts my eyes

And something without warning, love

Bears heavy on my mind

Then I look at you

And the world's alright with me

Just one look at you

And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day...

When the day that lies ahead of me

Seems impossible to face

When someone else instead of me

Always seems to know the way

Then I look at you

And the world's alright with me

Just one look at you

And I know it's gonna be

A lovely day.....