Everyone should have a pair of Rainbow Legwarmers

We had a very exciting day yesterday - Sarah Beth attended her first birthday party.  It was her little friend Kate's 1st birthday celebration and we were thrilled to be invited.  Excitement turned to fear however, when we walked in the door to a room full of strangers - SB was not pleased and let everyone know.  She's not used to crowds, poor thing, and did that sad, sniffly sobbing that just breaks your heart.  She quickly rebounded when we showed her some balloons (Balloons!) and the pretty cupcakes that Kate's mom made for the occasion.  No cake for SB but she tried her darndest to grab a handful.  A few more months before we take her down the slippery slope of refined sugar if we can help it.

So one of the things that every Mom struggles with is what to do with your little one when you have to, um, go.  I'm trying to keep hydrated throughout the day but it presents some challenges.  She doesn't appreciate me dumping her in the crib for a minute and often it's too inconvenient to strap her into her highchair or bouncy thing, so...sometimes she ends up sitting in the hallway while I take care of business.  TMI?  Sorry, but I think once you have a baby you no longer have much in the way of modesty or discretion in personal matters.  Anyway, while I had her plopped down  in the hallway yesterday,  I was inspired by the way the light was hitting her so I grabbed my camera and snapped off a few shots of our girl in her favorite green dress and sassy rainbow leg warmers.  She is very impressed with herself in those legwarmers.  Who wouldn't be?

Check out my legs.

Pretty profile.

Moose had to get into the act.

Beautiful baby.

Mama-razzi

Rolling into week 2 of my SAHM lifestyle. That’s Stay At Home Mommy for those who aren’t familiar with the acronym. I recently learned that one. Thank God I have some new acronyms to take the place of the gazillion ones used at the bank. I swear some of those meetings I used to attend sounded more like a spelling bee than a merger discussion. But those days are behind me now. On to more important things like Elmo and peek-a-boo and Yo Gabba Gabba. I still, however, can’t shake the dreaded feeling of impending doom that I will be returning to work shortly. I am consciously aware that I quit and someone else has likely taken over my cubicle (or at least pilfered my supplies) by now. But deep in my subconscious mind I have that gotta-go-to-work instinct that won't die. Sunday night was the usual sleepless Monday Eve that I faced while in the working world. Maybe it’s sympathy pains for Kurt. I don’t know, but I hope I get over it soon.

I spent some time practicing my photog skills with poor SB today. When she grows up she is either going to be a supermodel or hide every time she sees a camera. Here are a few of the keepers.

Can you tell she's getting annoyed with me in that last one?  Despite having to put up with the mamarazzi, I think baby is enjoying having me at home.  We had fun adventures at the grocery store.  She was the most popular girl there.  As we waited by the deli counter some goofy older guy tried to make her laugh.  She sat there stoically staring at him as if to say, you do not amuse me, Mr. Funny Man, go away.  Not 3 minutes later, the bakery man gave it a go to no avail.  The young lady was not interested.  As we rounded the corner to the baby food aisle, I said to her, well get used to it girly, you're in for a lifetime of silly men throwing themselves at you to get your attention! 

24/7 Mommy Open for Business

As week 1 of my new gig as full-time Mommy comes to a close, I thought I'd share a few observations as we embark on this new phase of our family life.

#1:  I am more physically exhausted at the end of the day then I ever was sitting at the cube farm.  Of course I should have expected this - carrying an almost 20lb baby around all day is no joke.  That's why so many mommies have nicely toned arms.  Between her and housework...whew!  It's a workout.  The good news is, I need the exercise and it's very rewarding work.  Having clean laundry, seeing shiny floors, and hearing SB's baby laughter makes it worth it.  It's nice to be able to see results after a long day rather than judge my progress by the number of emails I managed to delete from my inbox.

#2:  I can cook.  Well I knew I could do it in theory, but having a few minutes in the day to think about what to make for dinner makes all the difference.  So far this week I made Fish Tacos, Shepard's Pie, and Chicken Marsala.  Not bad, eh?  Kurt is well-fed.  Baby too.   I've been able to get on top of baby food production and introduced her to her new favorite food, mashed potatoes.  She loved it, as any good Irish girl should.  The cream cheese mixed into the potatoes helped a little, I'm sure.  I found some great recipe Apps for iPhone.  Just plug in whatever ingredients you have in the fridge and voila, recipes at your fingertips.  When Apple says there's an App for that, they aren't kidding.  There's an App for everything

#3:  I don't know what the opposite of procrastination is, but lo and behold I am suffering from it.  I want to do everything at once.  I've got a huge list (multiple lists as I've mentioned in a previous post) and I can't wait to burn through it.  I want to whip the house into shape, get my business off the ground, and spend oodles of time with baby teaching her baby sign language, reading, playing piano, and showing her all the world has to offer.  Prioritizing is actually harder when you want to do it all.  I've never really been in that situation before so it's quite strange.  I've started categorizing things into (a) tasks I can do while baby is awake or (b) tasks I need to do while baby is sleeping.  Surprisingly, I can get a lot done while she's awake and playful.  She loves hanging out in the kitchen with momma, exploring new toys like wooden spoons, egg timers, and tupperware.   Things like blogging and photography stuff require a little more concentration so I try to save my baby naptime for those to-dos.  I am still having twinges of anxiety as if this is all going to end and I'll be back at work in a few weeks.  I think that's part of my rush to finish the list.  If I could shake that feeling maybe I could relax a little but the 9-5 lifestyle has been ingrained for so long that apparently it's going to take a while.  It's funny too that although I know I don't need to prove myself to Kurt, I want him to feel like he's getting something in return for his sacrifice as sole breadwinner.  So I've been up early every morning to make his breakfast and lunch.  Quite the little housewife hmm?  But you know what?  I like doing it.  We're a team and I want to take good care of my husband as well as the baby.  It's sounds sooo retro these days, but I'm ok with that.  I have not sported an apron, poufy dress, pearls and high heels yet, but hey it's only week 1...

#4:  I should have been on Broadway.  According to my 8 month old, at least.  I've reprised my role as singing and dancing Momma and am getting rave reviews.  Pandora has not let me down and my "Glee" station has all the songs from the TV show, plus plenty o'show tunes mixed in with pop favorites.  She loves my jazz hands, and my rendition of "Defying Gravity" from Wicked brings down the house. We've started piano lessons too.  Every day.  I play for her and then she plays for me, banging her little heart out on the keys.  She also tries to eat the sheet music, but we're working on that.  I love that her first piano is the one my parents bought me when I was six years old.  I even have the same lamp, believe it or not.  Over 30 years old and it still works.  I love the 'click' sound that it makes when I turn it on.  Brings me back to years of staying up late and sneaking out to the living room to play when I was a kid.  That 'click' meant it was time to let go and just play for myself.  Of course my parents were listening upstairs the whole time but they never once told me to stop and go to bed.  I hope Sarah Beth is moved enough by music that she sneaks out to the living room at night to hear the 'click' and pour her soul into some Mozart or Debussy or maybe something she composes herself.  And we will lay there in the dark listening and let her play as long as she likes.

#5:  She loves me.  She really loves me.  I feel like Sally Field.  I love that she loves me.  That her sweet face lights up in the morning when I walk in to say good morning.  That she reaches out for me when she's happy or tired or needs comforting.  I love how I can make her laugh and laugh, and how she watches my every move.  I love that she falls asleep so peacefully when I rock her and even when she wakes up at night I can pat her back gently and sing "Tender Shepard" to calm her down.  This bond that we are creating is remarkable.  I realize that it won't always be this unabashed love fest, so I am just eating up every moment right now with that sweet girl.  If there was ever a question about our decision for me to stay home, it was answered with one blink from her big blue eyes.  Yes.  This is where I need to be right now.

But first...

I owe everyone a retrospective on my first week as full-time mommy, but first there's something I have to get off my chest.  Our neighbors.  Sigh.  They've lived there forever, apparently, and we cannot figure them out.  They go to the trouble of installing a pretty new door, but it takes them a whole year to paint the bare wood trim surrounding it.  They hired some random neighborhood guy to paint the rest of the trim, but he only painted one of the two front windows, and about half of the soffit and trim work.  So when we gaze out our kitchen window, we see literally 2 feet of painted trim, the rest is peeling and rotting.  Lovely.  I can't tell you how many times we considered sneaking over there in the dark of night to spend the 30 minutes it would take to finish the job, but they'd probably shoot at us.  (We've mistakenly gotten their Guns and Ammo subscription before.  We know they're armed and dangerous.)  They hired the same guy to clear out the underbrush in their forest of a backyard, but left several rotted trees standing, well, leaning precariously, I should say.  Why bother?  Today took the cake though.  Aforementioned guy that has yet to finish one thing they hired him for is back -  now he's washing and waxing their 1990-something Ford Festiva POS like it's a flippin' Ferrari.  Now I have no problem with keeping one's vehicle clean and shiny, however, this thing has the horsepower of a golf cart and is held together with more bondo than metal.  Not to mention that we have a perfectly good Autobell less than 2 miles up the street.  Explain to me the logic behind this.  Our house may be crumbling but hey our Festiva looks gooood.  Seriously, with the 2 hours that dude spent buffing and armorall-ing, he could have finished the paintwork and chainsawed the dead wood in the back.  So frustrating.  But I shouldn't be surprised.  These are the same folks that had a raccoon living in their chimney the entire summer last year.  We watched the little guy popping his head out every night at dusk.  I don't know how you can ignore that.  We had a raccoon family move in (probably the same one) and it was like an all-night rave in our hearth until we got rid of them.  (Humanely of course, don't call PETA.  Tip:  Much like we don't like their racket all night, raccoons don't like loud music blasting all day and they will move themselves out.  Nobody likes noisy neighbors.) 
Speaking of wildlife, we had a deer visit our backyard today.  Not unusual for some places, but we live in the city and it was the middle of the day.  Poor gal looked completely lost.  I spotted her in the neighbors' yard (yes, those neighbors) and grew worried that they'd shoot her and eat her for supper.  But she hopped over the fence, wandered across our property and effortlessly jumped to the other side.  Beautiful.  I hope she finds her way.  Boy did Savannah miss out - she goes bananas over squirrels and chipmunks.  She would've keeled over from the excitement. 
Next post...mommyhood...promise.

Sing it, Donna Summer..

It's over. Done. Friday was my last day in the working world. I had that Donna Summer song in my head all day. You know, the one the DJ always plays right before they turn the lights on -- “the last dance, last chance, for love…” I tried to refrain from disco-ing down the cube rows but it was difficult to hold back my joy. It was a great, albeit strange feeling to turn in my laptop and security badges and bid adieu to all my work friends. They wished me well; a few clung onto my leg and begged me to take them with me, but once I shook them loose I was out the door.

I thought I'd somehow feel different, like when you turn 16 and get your driver's license or get married or some other life-changing event. I don't know, I thought perhaps choirs of angels would sing or someone would release a flock of doves as I took my final stroll out of the building. No such fanfare. Just a big sigh of relief from me and my dear husband as we walked to the car.

I think it will take a while for reality to sink in. I got the usual icky pit of my stomach feeling Saturday night. That oh-god-saturday-is-over-which-means-tomorrow-is-sunday-and-the-next-day-is-dreaded-monday-feeling. Even though I knew full well that I wasn’t going back to the salt mines, I couldn’t shake it. Must be something programmed deep inside my brain from years of hating mondays. It’s such a shame too. We only get 7 days a week; to hate one whole day and to dread it for a day and a half means that 35.7% of my life was spent in dread or a certain degree of misery, not counting holidays and vacations. Not a way to live. Which is in part what led us to our decision. Not that I think it will all be sunshine and fairytales from now on. I'll likely be busier than I ever was as career mommy.  I started making lists (oh how I love lists) of all the stuff I am going to do, from my new routine, to special household projects, my new business venture, and even baby activities. Wow, I just made a list of my lists. See, already channeling my project management energies into my new role as full-time mommy, entrepreneur, and household manager extraordinaire. Rest assured, there will be project plans and financial forecasts in my future. AND more blogging. Yes, now that I’ll have a little more time in my day, I will recommit to my writing with new fervor. Since I’ll be spending most of my time with an 8 month old, I suspect I will need an outlet to keep the adult part of my mind functioning before Yo Gabba Gabba and Elmo turn it to moosh.

So welcome me back and keep your fingers crossed for us as our little family adjusts to this new chapter in our lives. I look forward to sharing our many new adventures!

Yes she really did get baptized

Finally!  Pictures.  I was playing with different styles in Photoshop.  Which ones do you like?

Notice what a good sitter she is now?

Hi baby!

Admiring her Jesus shoes from Grandma

Close up on the changing table

In color....

Angelic!

Did I mention she loves the shoes?

I have so much to write about.  I have no time to write.  I am stealing a few moments to load these photos while baby is napping, completely ignoring the dusty shelves and the mountain of laundry piled up in the corner.  I am overwhelmed with excitement and happiness that all this is about to change.  I'm switching careers, you see.  Hanging up my consulting shoes and trying out a new gig:  Full-Time Mommy and Part-Time Photographer!  It's true it's true!  I can barely believe it myself.  Next Friday I will say goodbye to Corporate America, adios Cube Farm, so long Conference calls and Status reports.  I have more important things to do and my new boss, while small and demanding, will provide much more positive feedback and a more gratifying work environment for sure. 
As far as my photography business - things are rolling already.  I have business cards.  (super cute business cards, FYI.)  I have a website with a temporary page up.  And I have a lot of work ahead of me to get it all started, but I am so looking forward to doing something I love for once in my life.  And if I'm lucky I may even make a little money doing it.
I must say, the support I've received from friends, family and coworkers has been heartwarming.  People I barely know at work have pulled me aside to say "good for you!" and sincerely wish me luck and success.  Everyone I talk to is excited about my decision and truly happy for our little family.  I realize it will not always be sunshine and rainbows ahead, but a rough day with baby is still better than a good day at the office, as far as I'm concerned.  Speaking of, I hear her stirring so I better wrap up.  But before I go, I want to tell the world how lucky I am to have a supportive husband who is as thrilled about this new adventure as I am.  He truly believes I can be a successful photographer and more importantly, knows that the best thing for our little girl is to have her Momma home with her while she's so young.  Our 2nd anniversary is coming up this month.  We can hardly believe it's only been 2 years since we walked down the aisle.  So much has happened.  Never did we suspect that we'd be where we are right now, blessed with this angel who completely changed our world.  And we wouldn't change a thing.