24/7 Mommy Open for Business

As week 1 of my new gig as full-time Mommy comes to a close, I thought I'd share a few observations as we embark on this new phase of our family life.

#1:  I am more physically exhausted at the end of the day then I ever was sitting at the cube farm.  Of course I should have expected this - carrying an almost 20lb baby around all day is no joke.  That's why so many mommies have nicely toned arms.  Between her and housework...whew!  It's a workout.  The good news is, I need the exercise and it's very rewarding work.  Having clean laundry, seeing shiny floors, and hearing SB's baby laughter makes it worth it.  It's nice to be able to see results after a long day rather than judge my progress by the number of emails I managed to delete from my inbox.

#2:  I can cook.  Well I knew I could do it in theory, but having a few minutes in the day to think about what to make for dinner makes all the difference.  So far this week I made Fish Tacos, Shepard's Pie, and Chicken Marsala.  Not bad, eh?  Kurt is well-fed.  Baby too.   I've been able to get on top of baby food production and introduced her to her new favorite food, mashed potatoes.  She loved it, as any good Irish girl should.  The cream cheese mixed into the potatoes helped a little, I'm sure.  I found some great recipe Apps for iPhone.  Just plug in whatever ingredients you have in the fridge and voila, recipes at your fingertips.  When Apple says there's an App for that, they aren't kidding.  There's an App for everything

#3:  I don't know what the opposite of procrastination is, but lo and behold I am suffering from it.  I want to do everything at once.  I've got a huge list (multiple lists as I've mentioned in a previous post) and I can't wait to burn through it.  I want to whip the house into shape, get my business off the ground, and spend oodles of time with baby teaching her baby sign language, reading, playing piano, and showing her all the world has to offer.  Prioritizing is actually harder when you want to do it all.  I've never really been in that situation before so it's quite strange.  I've started categorizing things into (a) tasks I can do while baby is awake or (b) tasks I need to do while baby is sleeping.  Surprisingly, I can get a lot done while she's awake and playful.  She loves hanging out in the kitchen with momma, exploring new toys like wooden spoons, egg timers, and tupperware.   Things like blogging and photography stuff require a little more concentration so I try to save my baby naptime for those to-dos.  I am still having twinges of anxiety as if this is all going to end and I'll be back at work in a few weeks.  I think that's part of my rush to finish the list.  If I could shake that feeling maybe I could relax a little but the 9-5 lifestyle has been ingrained for so long that apparently it's going to take a while.  It's funny too that although I know I don't need to prove myself to Kurt, I want him to feel like he's getting something in return for his sacrifice as sole breadwinner.  So I've been up early every morning to make his breakfast and lunch.  Quite the little housewife hmm?  But you know what?  I like doing it.  We're a team and I want to take good care of my husband as well as the baby.  It's sounds sooo retro these days, but I'm ok with that.  I have not sported an apron, poufy dress, pearls and high heels yet, but hey it's only week 1...

#4:  I should have been on Broadway.  According to my 8 month old, at least.  I've reprised my role as singing and dancing Momma and am getting rave reviews.  Pandora has not let me down and my "Glee" station has all the songs from the TV show, plus plenty o'show tunes mixed in with pop favorites.  She loves my jazz hands, and my rendition of "Defying Gravity" from Wicked brings down the house. We've started piano lessons too.  Every day.  I play for her and then she plays for me, banging her little heart out on the keys.  She also tries to eat the sheet music, but we're working on that.  I love that her first piano is the one my parents bought me when I was six years old.  I even have the same lamp, believe it or not.  Over 30 years old and it still works.  I love the 'click' sound that it makes when I turn it on.  Brings me back to years of staying up late and sneaking out to the living room to play when I was a kid.  That 'click' meant it was time to let go and just play for myself.  Of course my parents were listening upstairs the whole time but they never once told me to stop and go to bed.  I hope Sarah Beth is moved enough by music that she sneaks out to the living room at night to hear the 'click' and pour her soul into some Mozart or Debussy or maybe something she composes herself.  And we will lay there in the dark listening and let her play as long as she likes.

#5:  She loves me.  She really loves me.  I feel like Sally Field.  I love that she loves me.  That her sweet face lights up in the morning when I walk in to say good morning.  That she reaches out for me when she's happy or tired or needs comforting.  I love how I can make her laugh and laugh, and how she watches my every move.  I love that she falls asleep so peacefully when I rock her and even when she wakes up at night I can pat her back gently and sing "Tender Shepard" to calm her down.  This bond that we are creating is remarkable.  I realize that it won't always be this unabashed love fest, so I am just eating up every moment right now with that sweet girl.  If there was ever a question about our decision for me to stay home, it was answered with one blink from her big blue eyes.  Yes.  This is where I need to be right now.